Winning and losing

Each time I hear about winning and losing, one icon towers above … Vince Lombardi. I remember one of his many quotes, “Show me a good loser, and I’ll show you a loser.”

In all matters, sports, career, or life, never settle. It doesn’t necessarily mean to be first, second, third. This can refer to the individual who goes through life playing it safe, not taking chances. Life can mean many different things for each person, but one thing for certain is you should do something to improve it. Do something!

You ever get that feeling where you sat around all day, without a worry, go to sleep and wake up the next day refreshed? Not unless you were sick all day, right? If you were able-bodied and for one day you just stared at the wall and did nothing constructive, the next day your energy level would still be as deficient as it was the prior day. On the other hand, what about where you ran around all day doing errands, taking care of things back-to-back, to the point where by the time you laid to bed at night you felt like you conquered the world? This is because you prepared a list of things to accomplish, in a period of time, and you saw it to completion. You competed to check off your list, you put your game face on, and you succeeded.

To win in anything you have to compete. When you compete, you put all your efforts toward that goal and you finish the job. These actions help you win. Don’t go into things half-heartedly. If you do, you might as well not take on the challenge.

Not only do you need to do it because of you, but there are others that may be watching. In a boxing match you have two individuals ready to pound each other to pieces, or so their press conferences show. Finally in that first round of their match you see the intensity of the winner, and you see the unpreparedness of the loser. You can already see in your head the ending where the boxer will say he was not ready, didn’t train properly, etc. Why would you get in the ring with someone you’ve been talking crap about? You have to play to win, not to lose.

Not to take anything from anyone’s talent … thank you Manny Pacquaio for an awesome two-round knockout this weekend … but talent is sometimes not enough. When your mind is not in the right mindset to win, you will not win. When your preparation is not at peak capacity, you cannot expect to win. I hate to call people winners and losers, so I’ll let Lombardi do it for me, “Show me a good loser, and I’ll show you a loser.” Get two prepared, motivated, and talented boxers in the ring, and you will get a slug fest that EVERYONE will be on their feet on, no matter the outcome. In the end people will remember each fighter's determination and focus to win. How do YOU want to be remembered in your actions in the workplace, in the home, or in your life ... as a winner or as a loser?

When you enter into competitions, do so with a focus to win. When you enter a new role in your career, do so with a focus to win. When you enter a new stage in a relationship, do so with a focus to win. Otherwise don’t even bother. There will be some rough spots along the way, but that’s expected for anything worthwhile tackling. Another Lombardi quote is, “The real glory is being knocked down to your knees and then coming back. That’s real glory. That’s the essence of it.” When you pour all your efforts in to win you cannot lose, as one final Lombardi quote that says it the best, “We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.”

Psych yourself to win, and prepare for a battle that may suck the energy and wits out of you. However, put your mind in a state of winning. Doing so influences your action, and your actions will lead to a result. Which mindset do you have right now, to win or to lose?

Oakley-dokely!

A Win vs. a Victory

Each time the NBA winds up to the Finals I often remind myself of the difference between a win and a victory.

Whether you’re rooting for the favored team or not, when all is said and done, look at the expression of the players of both teams after the final seconds run out. It might be difficult at first but associate the win with one team, and the victory with another team. My opinion is that oftentimes a great series that takes it to the sixth or seventh game, those labels are split between the two teams. The series that end in four games usually has one team taking a win, and neither a victory. Or is it?

When the heavily-favored team dominates a game 150 to30, that was just a blowout … no, just kidding; it’s actually just a win. Not to take anything away from the winning team, but they were expected to win. On the other hand if the struggling team takes the series to seven games, and loses, did they really lose? What if they had depth issues all season, injuries left and right, barely winning their post-season games AND taking the championship to the seventh game? Many teams wish they would have made it that far. Who would’ve thought they would make it this far?

In life we are put through a series of tests, whether they are standardized tests in school or tests in life. Growing up I saw a lot of material items that was left to be desired, as that’s all they were, due to financial constraints. Nevertheless, I saw a few childhood friends get their wins in life early on, or so it seemed. From sporting the bling, driving in their expensive vehicles, flashing their cash and buying whatever they wanted … all as such a young age, too. As many other childhood friends grew out of the hype of this easy life of hustling on the street, we all later realize that we who have survived this long actually accomplished a victory. Each time we hit a milestone in life, positive or negative, was a victory as I guarantee you that many in the outside world did not see us surviving, let alone accomplishing much.

In an earlier chapter in my life, I can remember when I reached the final oral interview panel for the FBI Special Agent Selection System. I can remember how much focus was put on the neighborhood I grew up in, and how I managed to pull through. (I just want to add that today I wouldn’t dare walk through my ol’ neighborhood now without a protective detail of mercenaries.) However, I remember during my FBI screening that after basically defending myself fit, due to list of childhood friends who were now probably on their watch list, I experienced a paradigm shift at some point. It was one of those “wait a second, I didn’t make it this far to feel inferior about my background” and I ended up feeling prouder during the remainder of the interview, knowing, no, feeling the victory I had accomplished in life sitting in front of those senior FBI Agents.

A win is a moment celebrated and may soon be forgotten; a victory is a feeling that lives on within us and is forever.

As many of you feel like you’re not winning at anything: school, sports, career, or relationships, what about LIFE? I encourage you to look back at your life and the victories you’ve failed to celebrate. Stand proud at what many can only imagine, yet you’ve lived through and pulled through, VICTORIOUSLY.

Oakley-dokely!

Keep things in perspective

What separates the champion from an amateur? We can spend a volume on this topic, but one of the key components is keeping things in perspective.

Kobe Bryant lives about fifteen minutes away from me. If one day we go one-on-one on the blacktop it would be a mismatch: size, ability, and preparation. Had the case been one-on-one in hacking into computer code before hot molten lava spills from above, the mismatch could possibly turn to my favor. What about if instead of hot molten lava, it’s just a bucket of water?

The point I make here is keeping things in perspective.

A pickup game at Kobe’s house: I know it’s just a game; he knows it’s just a game. At the end we both kick back with our family and just laugh. I may actually scored some points along the way. However, if I talked smack and he called me out at the Staples Center and all the world is watching, I will basically be fighting for pride, because I’m about to be the laughing stock of the year. Kobe may see the fire in my eyes, and to make sure he displays his skill and sportsmanship, he gets his game face on … and schools me, in style of course. This isn’t because he’s not under any pressure. It’s because he is trained to perceive the pressure situation and deal with it. He’s still under pressure from the fans at the arena and on the airwaves to perform in Kobe-style. He’s still under pressure to watch out for an over-aggressive opponent who might inadvertently injure him from a wild move.

All in all the champion will keep the situation in perspective. The champion knows it’s not a life or death situation. The champion knows this is just a game. The amateur, on the other hand, may actually perceive this as a life or death situation. The amateur begins to make mistakes because his perspective is off. Remember this is just a game.

In any level of sport: its regular season, quarterfinals, semifinals, or championship game, preparation is essential to keep things in perspective. Champions do not lose their cool at each stage. One of the differences between one-time champs or three-peat champs keeping each game into perspective. Some say this is keeping your cool. In the NCAA’s March Madness it’s always neat to see 15^th seed teams progress to the next round. They’re the underdogs but for them it’s just a game, a game that they will play just like all the other games they played that got them to that 15^th seed. The higher seeds may have lost their perspective and may not have played like all the other games that got them the higher seed.

As we progress in our school years, in our career, in our family, or in our life, condition yourself to put things in perspective. My seven year old son is going through multiplication exercises and should focus on those twenty math problems on the sheet. At homework time he should just look at this stressful event as what it really is, just twenty math problems on the sheet. It’s not going to kill him to work through them. He might as well pull in all those addition exercises he’s learned from previous stressful events. Remember, it’s just another sheet of math problems.

Expanding on this: you did not become Director of IT to panic at a server upgrade, you did not become the Pastor of a Church to panic at a scandal, and you did not make it to final round of Who wants to be a millionaire to panic on the last question. Keep your cool.

One day when I do have that one-on one with Kobe I plan to play it like any other game. I will not remember it as a day I missed my shots, walked, or tripped on my shoes. I’ll be just as clumsy with the handling, and I’ll be just as off with my shots. It’s just a game. Why ruin the moment? One thing for certain is that I played a game against Kobe, and I’ll remember that game as we sip on some drinks afterwards as we watch our kids play in the backyard.

There are far worse challenges out there that may actually be life threatening. Whatever life throws at you, accept it as a challenge, and put everything into perspective.

Oakley-dokely!